I Am No Longer A "Name Twin"

Some of you may not know, but my husband's sister and I share the same first name. I think it was kind of weird for Brad in the beginning - the name that he used when referring to his older sister that he loved/teased/etc was the same name of the girl he was dating. They are spelled differently - I am "Stacie" and she is "Stacey." Needless to say, his friends gave him lots of flack about it. Brad's side of the family has come up with many ways to differentiate between us. The most common one is just calling us by our first and middle names. I'm Stacie Marie and she is Stacey Lynn. Stacey's boyfriend would always call me "Future Stacie." :)

Anyways, when I got married, I obviously changed my last name to match my husband's. Since Stacey Lynn was unmarried at the time, there were officially two "Stac-ie/ey Salinas'." Multiple people added me on Facebook, thinking I was the "original" one and it made for a lot of confusing conversations, trying to explain to people that we are related, but that I'm not the one they're looking for. (Sigh....)

WELL.....now I am alone in my name again. Last weekend, Stacey Lynn got married! Her last name is now Withrow. It was a beautiful, unique, private ceremony. The bride, wore a pale green (almost seafoam) dress. It was beautiful!

Brad's cousins, Casey and Jeremy, came in from the East Coast to celebrate, so Brad was in hog heaven. They were ushers at our wedding and Brad has a very special place in his heart for them. We had lots of fun, hanging out with Brad's family and partying the night away!

Brad and his grandma Dee

Me, Brad, Stepmom Wendy, Brad's Dad, Stacey Lynn & Gary

Gary and Stacey

Stacey Lynn, Brad and their mom, Cheryl

Stacey Lynn, Brad, and their dad, Larry

Gary and Stacey cutting the cake - they had an xBox cake on the left and a Hulk Hogan cake on the right!

KISS!

Brad's cousin Jeremy warming up on the dance floor!

Jeremy and his girlfriend Danielle, showcasing Jeremy's signature move!

Brad, me, and Danielle trying to lift Jeremy up - not successful...obviously.

Brad, Me, Danielle, and Jeremy

Jeremy and Casey were so funny - constantly getting Grandma Dee on the dance floor!

Grandma Dee and Casey "taking pictures" of Jeremy's moves!

Aunt Cristie and Father-in-Law Larry warding off the paparrazi!

One Year Down

Hi all -

Over the last few weeks, I have done many things that I thought to myself, "I should blog about this." But, alas, I have not blogged about any of them. Sometimes I feel caught in a pickle - do I let life get in the way of blogging (therefore, not posting for awhile) or do I let blogging get in the way of life? Hmmm...we'll let the philosopher types mull it over. In the mean time, I'll just say sorry for keeping you all waiting to hear more about my mostly mundane, sometimes eventful life. :)

The biggest thing that has happened over the past few weeks is that Brad and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Sometimes it feels as though time has just flown by and other days, it feels like I can't remember my life before we got married. For our first anniversary, we kept it low key. We had dinner at the Upstream, watched a movie at home and ate a slice of cake from the store (since the top of our cake wasn't kept for us!)

Over the last 12 months, we have had our ups and downs. I've laughed, cried, thrown fits, thrown dishes, been blissfully happy and slightly enraged. We jam packed a lot of feelings, learning experiences, and love into the last 12 months. Overall, I'm happy and totally love.

Now, I do not claim to be a marriage expert, but I do feel like Brad and I have learned a lot this first year. So, is this a doctoral thesis on marriage? No. But it is the random list of advice that came to my head when I thought about what I'd tell a girl who's about to get married. :)

I can't believe this has been over a year ago...

1) Show your husband respect, (even if he's not acting respectable). I never realized how even the most seemingly insignificant behavior or words, could tear my husband down. In a book called Love & Respect, it talks a lot about a man's deep need to be respected. You can love a man all you want - love him to death, but if you don't respect him, it's all null and void. I used to say that I couldn't stand those women who talked down to their husbands in public...but doing it in private is just as damaging. If/when your husband isn't acting respectable, treating him with disrespect won't remedy the problem. It will only make it worse. 

2) Space is okay. In the first few months of marriage, I thought that if Brad needed time away from me, that meant that he....didn't love me/didn't want me/wasn't happy/etc.... Space is good. I need it, but I never thought that Brad needed it too. A dear friend wrote in our wedding card, "When you're in a disagreement and it starts to escalate, take a 20 minute break. Come back together to discuss it again. If it escalates again, take another 20 minute break. Take 20 minute breaks until you can find a solution without yelling, name-callling, or disrespectful behavior. It won't be easy (my husband and I took 20 minute breaks for 3 days straight one time), but it saves a lot of feelings from getting hurt." We don't use this method to the "t," but the concept is one that we have benefited from.

3) Make time to relax and have fun. Brad and I found that we were so busy and always tired. Before we got married, I had taken a second job to help pay for the wedding. After the wedding, I had planned to quit, but then it was the holidays and I thought I could use the money to pay for gifts, etc. It's a vicious cycle and you seem to always "need the extra money." We argued more often and let a lot of things get away from us. Once I quit my second job, we learned to say "no" to a few things and we carved out specific time every week to spend together, we got along so much better.

4) Whenever you think about how much you love your spouse, tell them. Brad does this a lot for me and I try to do it to him as well. I have gotten several cards over the last week from Brad "just because."

5) Surround yourself with people that support marriage. Sometimes people with negative views towards marriage (or just differing views) tend to insert their opinion into YOUR marriage. It's uncalled for, and quite frankly, very rude. Those people need to be drop-kicked in my opinion. Anyways, make sure that the people you're talking to are actually safe to talk to about your marriage and that they understand your commitment. Stop people from saying disrespectful things or things that tear down your spouse.

6) Flirt often. This is just fun and builds confidence. Enough said.

7) Consider your spouse's background. Often times, when your spouse is really upset, but it seems odd to you or like an overreaction, it usually has something to do with their background. Brad and I found that talking about our childhoods, past relationships, etc, helped us to understand where our sensitivities lie. Before getting frustrated, consider trying to understand what in their past could be contributing to this overreaction.

8) "Counseling" isn't a curse word. I'm not ashamed to say that Brad and I have seen a professional counselor together. We went originally as a supplement to our pre-marital counseling, but it turned into one of the BEST things we've ever done. It sort of couples with number 7 in learning much more about your partner's triggers and the best way to communicate. I dare say that Brad and my marriage would be much much different, and a lot less enjoyable, had we never gone to counseling.

9) "Don't go to bed in the middle of an argument" is sort of a crock. I was adamant when we first got married that we'd never ever go to bed angry with each other. Maybe in a perfect world that is the goal, but unfortunately Brad and I are human. It happens...and it actually gives a little perspective to arguments when you've had a full night's sleep. I mean, honestly, who is very nice or understanding when they're tired?

10) Don't commit to something without talking to your spouse. Oooooh...this got both Brad and I in trouble on a few occasions. We learned quickly that we are no longer two single people who make solo decisions about scheduling. We are, as the Bible puts it, one. On a couple of occasions, we both committed our night to some event and when we came home, we realized that we'd double booked! We have a calendar on our fridge that we track things on, as well. That definitely helps!

Now to indulge a bit of nostalgia, here are some photos from our wedding day!

Many more cheers to many more years!

Go Big Red!

Well, I can't believe it's that time of year again! On Saturday, we watched the Husker's football season opener. They played in Lincoln against Tennessee-Chattanooga. My parents hosted a party at their house - but last minute, my dad got invited to actually attend the game, so we missed him there! So, altogether, it was me, Brad, my mom, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, and my aunt Janis, uncle Rich, and cousins, Josh and Kyle. It was a lot of fun! Also, we learned that we don't know how to cook for smaller groups of people. We had enough food to probably feed the entire football team if they had stopped over after the game!

Lots of food! :)

Janis, Rich, Josh, and Kyle

Thought this was so cute! My aunt Janis got this for my nephew, Cooper.

The Amazing Flying Dog

Last Sunday, Brad and I went to Lincoln to spend some time with some of his closest friends. We asked his friend Clayton, who also lives in Omaha if he wanted to ride with us. Brad and Clayton had spent a few hours after church getting homemade dough, homemade sauce, and all the fixins' for Brad's yummy pizza ready to serve. They packed it all up and we headed to his friend Gene and Whitney's house. We arrived in Lincoln and Brad and Clayton got to work, put the pizzas together, and popped in them in the oven.

While they did that, I pretty much just played with Gene and Whitney's 2 year old son, William and held their adorable, smiley 9 month old, Henry. I was pretty upset that I forgot to get a picture of them, because they really are adorable kids...like the kind of kids who should be in commercials...seriously. :)

Anyways, after dinner, Gene asked if we wanted to come with him to the park while he ran his dogs through some practice drills. Brad had told me that he trained dogs and was really talented. I must be honest...I was kind of skeptical. I thought, "Wow, impressive...he can teach dogs how to sit and stay." Boy was I wrong...

When we all got out of the car, Gene had a vest on. I asked what that was for and he said, "So I don't get scratched up when the dogs jump off of me." WHAT?!?!? Gene has two dogs, Mabel and Bandit, whom he has trained to do really cool frisbee tricks. They were amazing! I could've watched him work with his dogs for hours! I couldn't believe how incredibly smart they are and how enthusiastic the dogs were to do it!

You can seen Gene at Vala's Pumpkin Patch this season, as he was hired to do shows there with his dogs - whose stage names are Air Bandit and The Magnificent Mabel! Their schedule for October is...

Fridays: 

5pm and 7pm

Saturdays: 

11am, 2pm, 5pm, and 7pm

Sundays: 

11am, 2pm, and 5pm

I hope you all can make it out to see Gene and his amazing dogs - you will be impressed! :)

Cooper Time and Mini Golf

This past weekend, my brother and sister-in-law were getting ready to go out of town, so they asked me to stop by and hang out with my nephew Cooper so they could get more done without distractions. My brother calls it something like the "WalMart Effect." Cooper is like WalMart in that every time you go there, even if your intention is to only pop in and grab something quick, you end up spending a lot of time in the store. With Cooper, you mean to just bend down and give him a kiss as you're doing laundry and getting chores done, but before you know it, you've spent 20 minutes giving him endless amounts of kisses, playing peekaboo, and going to embarrassing lengths to get him to smile. SO...of course Aunt Stacie came to let John and Jessie have a couple hours of diligent, distraction-free packing.

Cooper is so much fun! He's now officially 6 months old and rolling all over the place! Towards the end of my time with him (nearing his bath/bed time), he got a little fussy and my sister-in-law told me to take him outside. It was AMAZING. Cooper apparently loves being outside. The minute I opened the front door, he stopped crying and was quiet as a church mouse until we came inside...at which time, we went back outside. :) He didn't even care if we were walking. He enjoyed just looking around while sitting on my lap on the front stoop.

This is exactly what he looked like the entire time we were outside - tired, but quiet and observant.

I tried to get a picture of Cooper sucking his thumb as we were sitting outside, but he reached out and bumped my phone as I was taking it. I still kind of like the picture. :)

On Saturday night, Brad and I went on a double date with my parents. We went mini-golfing and then got ice cream. Brad won! It's was his dashing good looks and mini golfing skills that reeled me in! It was a lot of fun and a nice time spent with my parents.

We had a long weekend - jam packed with lots of things to do, so it was tiring, but it was also fun. And back for your enjoyment, here's another adorable picture of Cooper. :)

Hydrocortisone Dependency

A little over 25 years ago, the genetic profiles of two people came together to create a new human being. Nine months later, two days before Thanksgiving, that human being emerged into the world. At that time no one could have guessed what mixing those sets of DNA would do. It wasn't until many years later would anyone discover the problems that would arise: Terrible skin. Dun dun duuuuun!

That's right, folks. I'm talking about me. I'm talking about my parents, neither having great skin, coming together and foolishly expecting any offspring to have a shot at semi-normal skin. Okay - I'm being dramatic. But, I really do have a higher propensity for skin problems than the average person. Let me list off the issues...

1) I have the palest, whitest, blind-you-as-you-look-at-it skin. I can sit in a tanning booth or sit outside all day and nothing happens. I do not tan. I burn. And then I peel. And then I am white again. (It doesn't help that I married and often take pictures with someone who has some Hispanic DNA - he walks from the door of our apartment to the car and gets a nice, even tan.)

2) I have lots of freckles. Some people think it's kind of cute - Brad, having no freckles, is actually fascinated by them. But I don't like them.

3) I have eczema. It's not a terrible case (I should be thankful), but it's bad enough to be annoying and inconvenient - especially in the winter time. Thanks Mom!

4) I have just generally dry skin...again terribly annoying in the winter. My dermatologist has actually said that I should only shower every other day and I shouldn't use really hot water, because my skin's "natural oils" need to rebuild. Gross.

5) I seem to be allergic to most any body soap, lotion, or laundry detergent with any dies or perfumes. I will break out in a rash if I attempt to use them.

6) If I get a bug bite (mosquitoes, spiders, etc), I seem to swell up really bad and the bites get really tender. My dad has the same problem.

Anyways, you may be wondering why I'm rambling/complaining/whining. Last weekend, I met up with some friends who were camping. One of them actually wrote about it on her blog and posted wonderful, not-so-flattering pictures of me. :) You can find her blog here. Well, even though I wore bug spray both days, somehow I got eaten alive. I had heard the mosquitoes were really bad this year due to all the flooding, but oh my word! When I got home, I counted 32 bites...all over my feet, ankles, legs, arms, and one right on my backside! Good grief! Like I said, I swell up so bad with bug bites. I had CANKLES folks. Cankles! My feet and ankles were so swollen that I looked like I had two tree stumps for legs. It is gross. They are also SO itchy and sore.

How did I treat it? Note the title of this blog. Hydrocortisone cream and several doses of Benadryl (or Waldryl for all of us poor folk) made the following days semi-tolerable. When I got to a computer yesterday, I was curious what else I could do to help with itching that isn't just jamming more medicine down my throat. I came across this website! It was very interesting! It even said that the average human has 20 square feet of skin...the only thing that came to mind was Silence of the Lambs. Moving on...

Another website (and one of my favorites) can be found here. It is Mayo Clinic's website and had lots of useful information. Who knew that lemon could be used to cure an itch? Anyways, I know this was probably the most boring, complain-filled post I've ever written, but now that it's out of my system, I can move on with more interesting things in the future!

Hope your guys' week is itch free! ;)

Soothing Sorrows...one bite at a time!

One of my very best friends from church, Marlo, is such a great lady. I really enjoy spending time with her - we seem to have similar thought processes and personalities. Her husband is in the Army and they moved here almost two years ago. They also have three lovely daughters, who all have a little piece of my heart and a dog that doesn't like me. :) Marlo, her husband Doug and I all went to Romania together last month and got even closer during that time.

Anyways, Marlo called me up on Wednesday after she'd had a very long morning. The first words out of her mouth were, "I need a stiff drink." Being the good friend that I am, I told her, "Well it IS before noon, but I'm down." :) Nah, she was just kidding, but we did decide to get together for lunch that day. Marlo spent her time growing up in Mississippi and Louisiana, so I suggested that we go get some good Cajun food at Jazz! An hour later, I was picking her up and we made our way downtown.

I ordered Chicken a La Mer. Being the true Southern gal that she is, Marlo ordered a crawfish po'boy. YUCK! Anyways, she said it wasn't like her grandma's cooking, but it was okay. We've both had a long summer with lots of stress, so we decided to eat away our sorrows with fried pickles (my favorite thing at Jazz) and beignets. I first had beignets in New Orleans at the world famous "Cafe du Monde." I waited in line for over 25 minutes to get my bag of beignets (they throw them in a bag with about 2 cups of powdered sugar), but it was worth every minute. I had almost forgotten how good they were, so I'm glad we splurged and got them.

 As good as the beignets and fried pickles were, we unfortunately had to find a bug that had been rolled into Marlo's silverware. Gross! 

That's 3 demerits for Jazz. :( But still a good time to talk and relax with a good friend!